Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
