i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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