I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
