I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
