You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
