he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize