no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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