What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
