On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize