no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
