girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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