I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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