Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
