we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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