I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize