That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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