dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Welp...herpes.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
