The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
