see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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