Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
