i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
