You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
