i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
