i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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