I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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