Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
