what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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