I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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