3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
