if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
