Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
