The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
