Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think my vagina is haunted
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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