thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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