yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
