I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
should my penis look like a turkey
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
