roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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