omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize