Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
