I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
