Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We had sex on a dog bed..
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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