well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
