R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
