My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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