Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
