I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
