quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
