My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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