Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Randomize
