I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
