who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
