I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
