i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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