ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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