One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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