Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
