It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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