My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
