I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
