I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
