Dual....:-)
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
