She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
