remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We left the knife in your bed.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
