if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
